LIST: 4 Things That Ruin Relationships

•Criticism –This is not the same as feedback, instead it isn’t constructive and usually focuses on things like personality, character, or interests, where as feedback deals with a specific action or behavior you’d like to see changed. 

•Contempt – This involves comments specifically designed to insult, or show disrespect towards someone. Often it derives from a lack of interest in another person, so the experts suggest trying to find some common ground to keep your interest.

•Defensiveness – Seeing yourself as the victim, or doing things like denying responsibility, making excuses, and meeting one complaint with another is a sign of defensiveness, which can make it harder to focus on bigger issues. To overcome this, try really listening to a person’s issue, whether you agree with it or not.

•Stonewalling – Withdrawing as a way to avoid conflict is one example of stonewalling, as is shutting down or refusing to respond, like giving someone the silent treatment or ignoring a person. Such behavior will prevent a couple from working out their problems.

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